i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
