I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
