look no pants
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
