His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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