I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
