evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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