He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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