It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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