is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
