I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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