He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
