did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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