so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
