it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
