Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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