these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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