ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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