I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
