Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's never too late to be topless.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
