I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
