I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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