so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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