dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
