i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
