We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
