you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
