The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
