i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
