just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
