it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
