remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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