Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
