so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
