why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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