is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
