Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
