there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
