well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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