i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
