The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
