omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
