i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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