Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Randomize
