also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
