im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
