well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
