sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
