he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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