It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
