So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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