dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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