Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
