i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
