i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
